Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Diablo has, for good reasons, become a shorthand for describing the flavour of gothic, grimdark fantasy setting in games, where pus-filled demonic hordes and rotting, undead corpses scour a hellish cathedral looking for unwitting adventurers. For all its wretched decay, however, the series still feels like an indulgence to be savoured. Its clickiness and abhorrent sights make the games endlessly gratifying, and masterful butchery of fiends eases most players into a comfortable rhythm. And part of that appeal lies in the macabre yet captivating fantasy it so deftly peddles — all that blood, gore and guts really make for a grisly setting that’s nearly impossible to look away from.

Tainted Grail: Conquest conveys the same sense of blight and doom in its dark fantasy universe — one that’s a reimagining of Arthurian legends — but also ups the ante with a huge wallop of Slay The Spire’s roguelike, deck-building elements.

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Every year our clone forms degrade, and Katharine spends the winter break copying each consciousness into a new body. Don't worry: we can't feel a thing! Since our new forms are still coming online from their time spent in the primordial flesh soup vat of the RPS Treehouse, we can't post over Christmas, so we've prepared some Christmas Cracker jokes instead! You can help fund the research into longer-lasting clone bodies with the RPS supporter program.

Now, time to enjoy your nice joke!

Q: What do all shapes consider to be their father figure?

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As a child struggling to sleep at night I'd dream of three worlds. First and least of these was Desert World, a blithe eternity of golden sand always viewed from kilometres up, where fizzing white rings rose toward me like expanding surf. I'd try to find my way down to the surface, but always at the risk of glitching straight through and ending up in Snake World, where monstrous serpents emerged from darkened kitchens.

Somewhere between these two poles lay the realm of the Animals, not that they were really animals, but clouds of eyelash-thin mandible, grot and sparkle, like rotten food on the point of becoming a school of tropical fish. I loved Animal World. I used to spend hours trying to mind-hack my way into it. I was pretty shocked to find its likeness in Sluggish Morss: Pattern Circus - an irresistibly strange, gristly, sorrowful, comical and inventive album of creatures, songs, places and phrases from Jack King-Spooner and composer Helena Celle.

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Every year our clone forms degrade, and Katharine spends the winter break copying each consciousness into a new body. Don't worry: we can't feel a thing! Since our new forms are still coming online from their time spent in the primordial flesh soup vat of the RPS Treehouse, we can't post over Christmas, so we've prepared some Christmas Cracker jokes instead! You can help fund the research into longer-lasting clone bodies with the RPS supporter program.

Now, time to enjoy your nice joke!

Q: Which regimen was set up specifically to help vacuum cleaners overcome their worries and insecurities?

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It’s hard to imagine a collaboration between Zero Escape and Danganronpa creators Kotaro Uchikoshi and Kazutaka Kodaka going under the radar, but an odd release schedule (involving dropping a half-finished experience on Apple Arcade) saw interest in the collaboration buried by the time the game hit PC last month. Which is a shame, since it’s a rather unique title in their respective careers, and it charts new waters for these cult directors.

World’s End Club was the first game the pair released since forming their own studio, Too Kyo Games, and can best be described as a bizarre but intriguing blend of platforming and death games, starring a cast of prepubescent children way too young to be fixing the world or dealing with cults. Think Danganronpa, if Danganronpa was a Saturday morning cartoon rather than a murder game filled with psychopaths.

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Sundays are for digesting the turkey and/or nut roast. Before you lay back, let's read this week's best writing about games.

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Every year our clone forms degrade, and Katharine spends the winter break copying each consciousness into a new body. Don't worry: we can't feel a thing! Since our new forms are still coming online from their time spent in the primordial flesh soup vat of the RPS Treehouse, we can't post over Christmas, so we've prepared some Christmas Cracker jokes instead! You can help fund the research into longer-lasting clone bodies with the RPS supporter program.

Now, time to enjoy your nice joke!

Q: How do you get to Death's Christmas party?

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So this is Christmas, and what have you done? As Katharine said, we're officially off until the new year but have lined up some guest authors and god-awful Christmas cracker jokes to tide you over until then. The death of the year does bring some sorrow, with Imogen leaving us, so do say goodbye if you haven't already. Then, return to tell me: what are you playing this holiday?

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Every year our clone forms degrade, and Katharine spends the winter break copying each consciousness into a new body. Don't worry: we can't feel a thing! Since our new forms are still coming online from their time spent in the primordial flesh soup vat of the RPS Treehouse, we can't post over Christmas, so we've prepared some Christmas Cracker jokes instead! You can help fund the research into longer-lasting clone bodies with the RPS supporter program.

Now to enjoy your nice joke!

Q: What did Santa say to the elf struggling to pick up a heavy present?

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All right, folks, we're now officially done and dusted for the year. 2021 is being brought to a close, and RPS is entering its annual hibernation period. We wish you a merry Christmas, a happy holiday, and a general Festivus for the rest of yous as we scuttle out of the RPS Treehouse for a couple of weeks and have a nice big sleep in our mountain of sweet wrappers. We'll see you back bright and early on Tuesday January 4th 2022.

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If you like your RPG adventures to contain dungeons and dragons, and be as complex as Dungeons & Dragons, perhaps you might fancy the latest game being given away free in the Epic Games Store's festive sale. For 24 hours, Epic are handing out Pathfinder: Kingmaker free for keepsies. It's a vast fantasy RPG based on the Pathfinder pen 'n' paper system, played out in ye olde isometric perspective. The sort of RPG that's fascinating to some, offputting to others—so a great candidate for a freebie.

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Midnight, one more night without sleeping Watching 'til that morning comes creeping Green Door, what's that secret your keeping?

Jim Lowe's Green Door might not be a Christmas song, but it sure can feel like one—especially inside the festive action of Dracula Cha Cha. That's right, it's Christmas Eve, which means one more night without sleeping, and time to play Dracula Cha Cha.

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Today I made a life-changing discovery. Takaya Kuroda, the man who voices Yakuza's beloved protagonist Kazuma Kiryu, is also the lead singer of a band. They're named Takaya Kuroda & Goodfellas and they have a Christmas song out. Not only is this excellent news, I can't get over the fact it straight up sounds like Kiryu delivering some festive cheer. So get comfy, bang this on, and let Kiryu's warm tones wash over you like mulled wine.

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Right now Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker is so popular you can’t buy it anymore. To prevent overcrowding and crashing servers, Square Enix have had to halt free trials and new sales to keep the game stable after an unprecedented surge in popularity this summer. Between that and the global shortage of materials to add more servers, it may be quite some time until new players are able to experience it. If you have an active subscription and manage to brave the long queues however, you’re one of the lucky few who get to experience something truly special. For everyone else: hang in there, it will be worth the wait.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMALS! This time of year can be one that feels particularly apocalyptic, as well as, you know, good will to all I guess. If I have to. The indie games I've been playing recently all have a bit of an end-of-the-world flavour to 'em, whether literal or metaphorical or by your own hand, if you feel like it. I dunno, I actually found them strangely relaxing, as a sort of counterpoint to the chaos of my own life during the holiday season. See what you think.

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It's the last day of the RPS Advent Calendar. This is it. It's all been leading up to this door, a wooden cabin door that's a bit tough to open. Wait, when did you put a pair of pliers in your pocket?

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The latest free game giveaway in GOG's winter sale is an unexpected one for the festive season, but perhaps a game which captures the feeling of being trapped at a seemingly endless Christmas lunch with awful relatives: I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream. Nothing says 'bad family Christmas' like being tortured for 109 years by a sentient supercomputer which nuked humanity and keeps only five people alive to torment. The 90s point 'n' click adventure game is a grim one (so grim!), but one which does have its fans.

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In a special Christmas message from three of the NieR series' development stars, creative director Yoko Taro has announced that NieR is over. No more NieR games for us... unless he receives a massive pile of money. Quickly, it becomes clear he's just joshing around. Another classic ruse from the man in the Emil mask, and a subtle hint that they may have something new in the works. Plus, it's just a really delightful video and you should all watch it.

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Though I hardly remember the Steam Autumn Sale ending, the Steam Winter Sale started yesterday, bringing squillions more cheap video games. If you're staring baffled at an endless list of innumerable deals, you could use some help. Honestly, most of our Steam Autumn Sale recommendations still stand, but the few of us in the RPS treehouse who haven't already clocked off for the Christmas holiday do have some fresh picks for you too.

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We're nearing the end of the year and my brain's battery is flashing red. There's some Christmassy-ness flowing in to tide me over, thanks to the mini-Christmas tree in my room. Every year it's popped on the wardrobe alongside an honorary Lynx Africa. They share the same festive colours, after all.

Having pondered my tree for a bit, I thought about trees in games and how they make for good side quests. Now join me by the bark, as I examine why this might be the case in a roundabout manner.

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When I was younger I watched a nature documentary narrated by David Attenborough (I realise that doesn't narrow it down) and in this nature documentary David told me about a cave. It is a very big cave, and every night a huge colony of bats come screaming out of the entrance. They spend the day clinging to the ceiling of this big cave, and all their bat poo falls down and has become a towering heap carpeting the floor.

But then David said look, the carpet is moving. And it turns out that the whole bottom of the cave is covered in cockroaches and giant centipedes. And if ever a small baby bat or an old injured bat falls, it is eaten alive by this hoard of chittering insects. This nature documentary haunted me, for it was the worst thing I could imagine happening.

Anyway, Nate has been to that cave and he's going to tell us all about it for this episode of our supporters only podcast, The Nate Files. Thanks for being a supporter, pals!

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It's been a busy, kind of mixed year for strategy games. Ever a broad church, 2021's seen enough releases to keep ten of me busy, from the easy-going Legion War to the month-consuming Shadow Empire. I don't know about you, but my personal "to play" list is out of control.

And yet, while we've had plenty to enjoy this year, it's felt like a period of build-up to something bigger. I'm not one for looking forward. If a game's not out yet it tends to disappear from my mind, making room for a hundred other recent releases in this age of plenty. That I've less interest in looking back over this year than I do pondering the next suggests that maybe we're in for something special in the coming twelve months. Or perhaps it's just been a rough one and I'm very sleep deprived and don't want to think about 2021. Either way, let's have a look at what's in store for strategy fans in 2022, yeah?

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As you approach this door of the Calendar you get a feeling of déjà vu. "Oh no," you mutter. "It's going to be another bloody time loop." You're right reader, it is! But this one will kick hard enough to start the day again, and really puts the writing on the wall.

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Embracer Group are continuining to do their part in attempts to merge the entire video games industry into one megacorp, this week announcing another five intended acquisitions. Among these are Perfect World, the publishers of Star Trek Online and Torchlight, and the studio behind Scribblenauts Showdown, Shiver Entertainment. They're also going transmedia, buying comics and TV company Dark Horse as well as an animation company and a video-on-demand network. Now they just need to get into food and housing, then our dystopian dreams of one corp owning our entire lives can come true.

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A recent round of BIOS updates for Dell and Alienware systems has turned out to be something of a bad batch. As first spotted by Bleeding Computer, multiple owners of Dell-made PCs – including the Alienware Aurora R8 and Inspiron 5680 gaming desktops, as well as the Latitude 5320 and 5520 business laptops – started developing big problems after installing the new BIOS versions. Failed boots, mainly, which of course makes it harder to apply potential fixes.

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Finally, catboys and catgirls have invaded Halo Infinite. Yes, you can now outfit your Spartan with cat ears in multiplayer and transform your serious Spartan into a feisty kitty. Move over John Halo, we now have Felix, who is much cuter and loves scritches. Hello mister! Pspspspspsps.

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Everyone knows there are two conditions that must be met before Christmas can officially begin. The first is playing Skeal. The second is the arrival of Steam's Winter Sale. Blissfully, we can now tick both of these objectives off our to-do list, as Valve have finally unleashed their flurry of seasonal deals. Between now and January 5th, thousands of games will be discounted across Steam, and you'll also be able to claim a free sticker every day as well, for those of you who enjoy that sort of thing.

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As that age-old saying goes, all good things must come to an end. As we prepare to put a full stop on the year and see out 2021 from our cocoon of Christmas chocolate wrappers, we must also sadly bid farewell to our news writer Imogen Beckhelling, who is heading off for a new adventure in the games industry in the New Year. Today is Imogen's last day at RPS, so come and say goodbye.

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It struck me recently that I’ve not played as much of Halo Infinite’s multiplayer as I thought I would. I envisaged myself wiling away most evenings with my mates, playing Oddball and Slayer and laughing like someone from those video game adverts, swaying violently with a controller in hand.

I now know the reason why and I hate to admit it. Infinite doesn’t have a battle royale mode, which I've come to realise is the perfect FPS template for gaming with my mates. Something about it just works, you know? Listen, let me explain.

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I know almost nothing about Alfred Hitchcock. He’s the kind of archetypal director whose work I’ve been exposed to in bits and pieces without ever actually sitting down to watch one of his films in full. All of that is to say that, upon starting Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo the game, I was in no position to judge whether it was a faithful adaptation of the film or to recognize all but the most obvious illusions to Hitchcock’s body of work (look, birds!). That’s okay, though, because as it turns out, Vertigo is an original story based on a collage of Hitchcockian concepts, not a direct adaption of the 1958 film by the same name.

Vertigo the game follows author Ed Miller as he grapples with a debilitating case of vertigo–a condition that leaves him unable to stand as the world appears to spin around him–and paralyzing guilt over the death of his daughter and her mother, Faye, after their car falls off a bridge into a ravine below. With Ed bed ridden, it’s up to Dr. Julia Lomas, psychologist and psychiatrist, and Sheriff Nick Reyes to unravel the mystery of what really happened, and whether Faye and his daughter even exist. My thoughts on how Vertigo goes about telling this story are... complicated.

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Final Fantasy XIV players haven’t had it easy these last few weeks. The sheer success of its Endwalker expansion resulted in lengthy login queues and server errors. It’s become so popular that Square Enix have temporarily stopped selling the game, taking its Starter and Complete Editions off sale. All the while, some low-poly grapes stayed static in the breeze. Jagged, delicious, minding their own business. Until their blockiness was papped and thrust into the public eye. Memes ensued and the grapes became the talk of the town, so much so that they’ve been smoothed out in the latest patch, much to everyone’s dismay.

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Gather round, readers, and I'll tell you the tale of the time I opened the 22nd door on the RPS Advent Calendar. I was with three friends, and we'd been adventuring together for years at this point - two of us were lovers, and yet a third had made a strange pact with a wolf God. We could do anything together, we four. And then we stumbled upon this door...

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Book Of Travels is what developers Might And Delight call a TMORPG - a "tiny" multiplayer online role playing game, as opposed to a "massive" one. It's a gorgeous-looking adventure that came out in early access back in October, but unfortunately the launch didn't go as well as the devs had hoped it would. Yesterday, they announced that they've had to lay off around 25 employees to keep the studio going. They add that development will continue, albeit at an understandably slower pace.

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Square Enix have drip-fed us Final Fantasy Pixel Remasters over the past year, with the first five having launched already. And now we know the remastered version of Final Fantasy VI, aka, the final dribble, arrives in February 2022.

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Hello folks. It's been a funny old year, 2021. On the games side, it's often felt like a year of shifting goalposts. Games that were delayed by the pandemic last year finally got their due in 2021, but in turn many of the releases we were expecting this year have inevitably slipped into 2022. The pandemic has affected games of all sizes this year, and I don't think it will go down in the history books as one of our all-time greats. There were still plenty of fantastic games that came out this year, mind, and we're still counting down our absolute favourites over in our Advent Calendar.

That said, I do think 2021 will prove to be a pivotal year for RPS - and not just because I stole Graham's key card and changed the locks on the front door of the Treehouse. It's been a year of immense change here at the site, so I wanted to take some time to reflect on everything that's happened this year, and look forward to what we've got in store for 2022.

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If you simply can't get enough of raccoon detectives sleuthing around dystopian Vancouver, then you're in luck, because more is on the way. Developers EggNut have announced that a new Backbone game is coming in 2022, dropping us back into the snowy, animal-filled city. We don't know much about it yet, but Backbone is an excellent detective puzzle game, and a gorgeous one at that, so I have high hopes for the next one.

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This door on the Advent Calendar is probably locked with a needlessly complicated key split into several pieces. Also, it is very, very tall, as if for someone who is already taller than average and then wears heels.

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After GTA: The Trilogy - Definitive Edition had a pretty naff launch last month, Rockstar ended up giving PC remaster owners copies of the oldies for free as an apology. The devs have another freebie for those folks too now - you can claim a free copy of GTA V: Premium Edition, GTA IV: Complete Edition, LA Noire, Bully: Scholarship Edition, or Max Payne 3 over the holiday period. Ah, free festive violence.

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We called Final Fantasy VII Remake a luscious spectacle that takes FF7 in a bold new direction. You know what else takes it in a new direction? Dresses. Loads of them. Modders have been hard at work weaving nice dresses with their virtual looms at a rate of knots. Oh, and they’ve morphed characters into Buster Swords and produced some other equally useful things too. Let's have a gander at some of their most interesting creations.

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Update: Loop Hero's time is done! The dino-battling FPS Second Extinction is the new freebie.

Original Story: This year had us stuck in many video game time loops, but one of my absolute favourites was Loop Hero. I never thought an autobattler RPG would hook me the way it did, but I spent hours upon hours helping a little knight circle a seemingly endless void, and had a wonderful time doing it. If you didn't have a chance to play it earlier this year, it's now free on the Epic Game Store until tomorrow. I heartily encourage you to pick this one up, it's one of our favourite games of 2021.

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