It wouldn’t work without the sounds. The thwop of your whip, the thwick of your dagger. The electronic twinkle of health-restoring chicken, which sounds uncannily like the shield’s up sound from 1999 classic 3D Astro Blaster. The ‘boo boo de boo, boo boo de boop’ of the chest-opening jingle, to which my shoulders cannot help but shimmy. Best of all: the plink of picking up an XP-granting gem - at first a sporadic treat, soon a near constant hum as the tide of enemies grows from a trickle into a flood.
Vampire Survivors is a simple, early access, arcade-style game about dodging an ever-growing horde of monsters while acquiring spells that fire automatically. You can (and should) play it with one hand while eating a bag of crisps. It’s a very good way to spend £2.