For a game that's been repeatedly described as "Pokémon with machineguns", the first thing that strikes me about Palworld is just how un-Pokémon-like it actually is. To its credit, it does do quite a good Pokémon Legends: Arceus impression when you first step out on its big, Breath Of The Wild-style hilltop and take in the open world vista of its monster-stuffed starting continent. But if the opening moments of washing up on the island in nothing but your very scantily clad undies hadn't already given it away (seriously, why do shipwrecks always destroy the clothes you had on, but not your smalls underneath?), then the ream of tutorial prompts about punching trees to get more wood, building bases, putting pals to work on said bases, and the endless parade of crafting technologies you'll need to unlock to actually do anything on this godforsaken rock will quickly pull the wool clear away from your hopeful little face.
For underneath the cute round eyes of its cover stars, Palworld is really a survival game wearing the dead skin suits of Game Freak's catch 'em all monster friends. In a lot of cases, those skin suits are quite literal, such are the blatant palette swaps and so-close-to-copyright-infringement-I-can't-believe-Nintendo's-lawyers-haven't-shut-this-down-years-ago rip-off creatures on display here. For that reason alone, Palworld can feel about as soulless and cynical as it comes. But that's not the worst of it. Even aside from all the survival gubbins, base building and sweatshop automation practices shoved down your throat, Palworld is just an awful example of monster-catching games in general. If it's a Pokémon game on PC you're after, go and play Cassette Beasts. Go and play Coromon, TemTem, or Monster Sanctuary. Anything but this.