Yesterday, I dived into the magical world of themed Crusader Kings III playthroughs, with this sobering exploration of what a man’s life might look like if he cared for nothing except banging giants. I may return to my nightmare re-imagining of C12th Estonia at some point, but not today. You see, today, there’s science to be done.
CK3 is, emphatically, all about planning for the long game. The fact you play as the successive inheritors of a medieval throne means you’re always thinking centuries ahead. Even within the lives of your individual rulers, you’ll almost always want to ensure a long and healthy reign, as that’ll give you more time to work on goals that benefit both your current king and their descendants. Indeed, even Andyamo the giantshagger cultivated a secondary interest in medicine, so that he could extend his titan-tupping career well into his seventies. But what happens if you play with utter contempt for longevity? Playing as recklessly as possible, I want to find out just how quickly a king can get themselves killed.