Doom scrolling social media looks to have replaced the age-old pasttime of watching TV in GTA 6, which has prompted feelings of alternating despair and increasing irrelevance in me this morning. I barely understand how TikTok works in real-life, let alone a video game pastiche of it, and oh god, how did I get so old and craggy? I'm just here for the nice-looking flamingos, Rockstar, not a 24/7 twerk stream I can access from the palm of my hand. Of course, TV watching may yet have been preserved beyond what we've seen so far in the first trailer for GTA 6, but even if it's been consigned to the bin of modern history, there might yet be one light in the TikTok-esque darkness to make GTA 6's in-game social media network worthwhile.
Upon closer inspection of the account names seen in the trailer, it's "PlanetLeonidaMan" that gives me hope, because if this isn't a riff on the Florida Man meme, I'll take a dump on a dead possum during rush hour traffic, hurl Oreos at Matthew as we argue over our empty coffee maker (teapot, come on), and try to cross the Atlantic in a hamster wheel vessel to demand some answers.