I was trying to explain the vibe of Crime Boss: Rockay City - a new Payday-like whose main USP is it's full of aging 90s-era-ish stars whose unifying trait is that they should not have been hired to do voice work for this game - to Graham as I was playing over the weekend. "You know how police procedurals all have at least one episode that's about gamers, so they have to make up a game for it? This feels like that. It's like a fake game made up by a Hollywood television producer."
A few hours later, after numerous short cutscenes in which Michael Rooker has to shout nonsensical American Football metaphors every so often, to justify the fact that his character is called Touchdown, and Michael Madsen growls about "candy" in a hard-living 65-year-old's voice coming out of an uncanny-vallyy 35-year-old's face, I text him an update: "It's also like that tweet that goes 'Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a bondulance'."