For a number of years, now, I have been investigating a field of knowledge so arcane and perilous that I had to pass off my studies as a joke, lest the truth of the matter prove too much for peoples’ minds to handle. It was a programme of research I hoped to shield you all from, at least until such point as my inquiries had begun to suggest some form of defence against their object. But alas. We have reached a point, now, where I feel it is better for mankind to face its adversary armed with what scant learnings I have acquired, than to proceed in the safety of ignorance. Cometh the hour, they say, cometh the man. And I can tell you now, friends: the hour shall be 2pm GMT tomorrow, on Friday March 27th. And the man shall be Jason Statham. For I am going to impart onto you A Complete And True History Of Jason Statham In Videogames.