I Had an Unforgettable Pokémon Battle Aboard the S.S. Anne

Pokémon fans will recognize this vessel from Pokémon Red and Blue games where you went aboard and battled the many Pokémon Trainers throughout. I’m reminded of how, when I played the game as a kid, there was a widespread rumor that if you stood next to the truck on the S.S. Anne’s dock and pressed A, you’d find a Poké Ball with Mew in it. That ended up being completely false, but I remember trying it numerous times anyway, secretly hoping it would work and the rarest Pokémon of all would be mine. Before I enter the makeshift S.S. Anne I scan the dock for trucks. Nope. Dang.

9:10 am - We’re given a map that shows the ship’s many floors, each with their own Pokémon activity. I notice there’s a crowd lined up in front of a plain looking trash can, so I get in line to see what the big deal is about. When I open the lid, there’s a message that reads “Nope, there’s only trash in here.” I hope whoever came up with that idea gets a raise.

9:15 am - I go up a floor and enter the Pokémon TCG battle area. There are a bunch of tables marked with either “Let’s Battle!” or “Let’s Trade!” A tingle of electric excitement creeps up inside me. I see players sitting down and challenging others at random, a beautiful view of the water visible through the ship windows behind them. It truly captures what it’s like in the game to board the SS Anne and start battling Pokémon, and I could not be more giddy about it.

9:20 am - I have a Pokémon deck in my bag so I decide to sit down at a table for battling and almost immediately a Japanese player sits down and asks if I want to play. He says he only speaks a little English and I say it’s no problem. I’ve played players who don’t speak the same language before and it’s never been a problem because the game itself is its own universal language. There was nothing that could have prepared me for the insanity that happened next.

9:22 am - We introduce ourselves and he tells me his name is Inuber Yo. We set up to play and he sets down a small Mr. Mime figure on the board. We start playing and have a laugh when we see we’re playing the same Gardevoir ex deck—or so I think.

A devious look comes across his face and he plays a Mr. Mime card. He picks up his Mr. Mime figure to pose with it and grins from ear to ear. Now, I know what every competitively viable Pokémon card does without having to read it, which is how I can comfortably play against someone using Japanese cards, but Mr. Mime is not what you’d call a meta card, so I have no clue what it does. He powers up the Mr. Mime with Gardvoir ex’s Psychic Embrace ability and declares an attack, then gestures that we have to play rock-paper-scissors, and if he wins, then I can’t damage his Mr. Mime on the next turn. I’ve never been more pleasantly surprised (and a bit confused) in my life but I am so down for this. I throw paper and he beats me with scissors, then he lets out a maniacal laugh and applauds excitedly. (What is happening?)

On my turn, I’m able to get around the Mr. Mime barrier by playing Boss’s Orders to bring up a different Pokémon and knock it out. He promotes Mr. Mime and we throw again. Against all odds, we both throw scissors five times in a row, and his enthusiasm is so infectious that I join him in laughing more and more as it keeps happening again and again, until finally he throws rock and wins, then we both explode with giggles. He picks up his Mr. Mime figure and matches its miming pose in victory. I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes and take a moment to catch my breath before starting my next turn.

Luckily, my Gardevoir deck is able to draw a ton of cards thanks to Kirlia and Gardevoir’s abilities, and I’m able to find my second copy of Boss’s Orders to get around his barrier again. He attacks with Mr. Mime once more, and I figure he’s feeling pretty confident with rock, so I throw paper – and finally win! That means I’m free to attack his Mr. Mime. After I knock it out, he melodramatically frowns and tips over his little Mr. Mime Figure, then bursts out in fake tears. On his turn, he plays Super Rod to shuffle his Mr. Mime back into the deck and follows it up with Ultra Ball to search it out and play it again. He stands his figure upright and smiles broadly. I take a moment to admire just how dedicated he is to his favorite Pokémon. He attacks, we throw again, and this time he wins with paper. Now I’m in a pickle.

My best counter to his Mr. Mime barrier is Boss’s Orders, but I’ve already played the only two copies in my deck. I’m forced to pass the turn back to him without doing any damage, then he finishes off my active Pokémon and wins the throw yet again with paper. He’s in my head! If I don’t knock out his Mr. Mime this turn, then I lose the game. I search my deck for an answer and realize I have just the thing. I play down Cresselia and use its Reverse Moonglow attack, which moves damage counters instead of dealing direct damage, which gets around Mr. Mime’s barrier – and wins me the game. He pays his respects to his fallen Mr. Mime, then gives me a big, two-handed handshake as I say well-played and thank him for the fun game.

I ask him why he loves Mr. Mime so much and he says it's his hero because it's so cute. I’ve always thought Mr. Mime looked like pure nightmare fuel, especially in the live-action Detective Pikachu movie, but after this match, maybe the little weirdo isn’t so bad.