Do you ever have that dream where a giant metal rolling pin is rumbling across the world, destroying everything in its path? You know, the dream where you're a strange two-legged Spore creature which can change shape and gain abilities by inhaling other creatures through its trunk. The one with the red and purple alien planet, and the giant chattering teeth enemy, and the huge insect creatures. Oh, hang on a moment, it's not a dream! Silly me. It's a game: The Eternal Cylinder.
It's a game by Chilean developer Ace Team, which burst onto the scene with the strikingly surreal Zeno Clash in 2009 (and then Rock of Ages after). Remember that? The Eternal Cylinder is so similar! It's a kaleidoscopically colourful and bizarre world full of huge creatures a bit like snails and insects, and some I just have no idea what they're supposed to be. But here they are, in a world of big stone towers and beams of light, and strange planets in the background. And dominating everything: a terrifyingly massive metal cylinder that moves.
This is how you wake up in the game. You are a small two-legged creature with a trunk and a grand purpose, you're told, and the very second you come to life, you have to run from the cataclysmic cylinder rumbling behind you. We're talking about a horizon-spanning thing here, which destroys absolutely anything in its path. You, a relative flea to its massiveness, do not stand a chance. Eventually, however, it stops, and when it does, you can begin nosing around.