Slowbeef is one of the first Let’s Players, and currently streams and creates content on Twitch, YouTube, and Twitter.
Hi everyone, thanks for coming to my piece, I appreciate you. Listen, I don’t know about you, but I like video games. Actually, I really like the ones off the beaten path, as it were. Stuff that maybe you want to lean around Lady Dimitrescu’s 9’6” frame to take a peek at. Or squeeze by the Narcacuga, rub your eyes and go, “Hey, me, what’s that game off in the distance that I might not have played? Also how did the writer remember Lady Dimitrescu’s height without reference and why is he freely admitting that on GiantBomb?”
Look, shit happens, it was a weird year for all of us, but grab a chair and I’ll tell you about five games that my schedule allowed me to pla- I mean! Games that deserve a good look. I do promise that all of them are either:
- Better than The Game Awards’ Game of the Year 2021 “It Takes Two” or at least...
- Contain one less drawn out scene where your maim and torture a sentient toy who pleads for her life than The Game Awards’ Game of the Year 2021 “It Takes Two” or at least...
- Seriously, what tone was “It Takes Two” going for there? Like is this a Pixar-kind of “getting back together story” or-
Anyway.
Number Five: SPOOKWARE
My elevator pitch: WarioWare but Horror-Themed.
Do I even need to write anymore than “WarioWare but Horror-Themed?” I mean, it sold me when I heard about it described that way.
Unlike WarioWare, its titular inspiration, Spookware puts you in charge of three skeleton pals named Lefti, Midi and Righti, who play fast-paced microgames under the pretenses of watching spooky VHS tapes, going to school, or solving a murder depending on what stage you’re on. For those of you unfamiliar with the microgame concept, it works thusly:
- You’re dropped on a screen, and given a brief one-sentence objective (Like “DON’T LET THEM IN”)
- You have five seconds (or so) to get your bearings, figure out the game and controls, then win. (Like “Oh zombies are climbing a wall... oh I have the shoot them before they reach the top!”)
- Win, and you’re suddenly thrust back into step one, but a different game. Lose and the same thing happens, but you lose a life. It’s fast-paced “get your bearings and make due” action. The games speedup as the level goes on, there’s a longer boss level, you get the idea. You’ll pick up quickly how to pilot these skeletons.
There’s connective tissue here, too (look, a theme-appropriate metaphor! Writing is easy): Our skelly protagonists have an overworld to traverse, NPCs to converse with, and subquests which themselves double as minigames. Each chapter has a different goal and a control scheme/theme; i.e. a band practice level centers around rhythm games, a murder mystery requires mouse movement instead of the keyboard/gamepad, that kind of thing.
This concept is pretty bare-bones (nice) to grasp, so some downsides or things you may not realize: I like WarioWare’s “drop you in and just get to the gaming” system. Look, I’m a busy guy with games to play, and business calls to make. “Get me the numbers on that!” you might hear me yell on a Zoom conference call to make it look like I was paying attention. That’s relatable! My point is, I just want to get to the gaming.
Spookware’s first level is almost exactly that: you get a frame story where the three skelebros discuss watching TV briefly, then boom, microgames. But subsequent levels have you talking to aforementioned NPCs, wandering around, searching for story progression. It’s certainly not hard, but it feels like padding at times. (WarioWare itself is a pretty short experience, generally.)
I’m not saying this is a mistake, mind, it’s just something I wish I’d known going in - the change of pace and longer cutscenes felt like a letdown, ‘til I understood Spookware’s vibe. It’s still WarioWare and fast-paced microgames, but there are much longer breathers, and said levels are actually pretty funny if you take the time to explore the environment and read the dialogue. It’s really charming and “horror” themed or not, it doesn’t take itself very seriously.
If I had to complain more, the rhythm game section also outlasts its welcome, but things get back on track soon after. I wish I had another theme appropriate metaphor to close this out with. Bones? Cranium...? Insert a cartilage I don’t know, writing is too hard.
Next!
Number Four: CHESSPLOSION
Elevator Pitch: It’s Chess Plus Bomberman