Nina Freeman is a game designer and streamer. She’s best known for games like Cibele and “how do you Do It?”. You can follow her on Twitter at @PersocomNina or check out her streams every week on Twitch at twitch.tv/ninamarie.
I went back and read my game of the year list introduction from 2019. I’m glad I read it, because I needed a reminder of my optimistic start to 2020. I was working on my new horror game (which I’m still working on! yay!), and I had high hopes for where it’d be by the end of the year. Then, 2020 happened (CW: 2020 things, skip the next paragraph if you need)…
It hasn't been a great year for my ability to work on games. There’s been a number of bigger things to worry about between the pandemic, violence against black folks, the election… I could go on, but y’all know. Oregon wildfires happened this year, too. We lived in Portland, and the surreal amounts of smoke pouring into our apartment triggered my asthma, which was… not fun! My partner ended up driving us out of Oregon and all the way to Maryland so that I could recover. Now, we’ve been living out here on his parents' farm out of our suitcases... for months. I like it though, because I get to help out with the animals, including fluffy sheep and a cute mini donkey--no complaints there!! :)
I really connected with my stream community more than ever throughout the chaos of the year. All of my friends on Twitch have brought me immense, irreplaceable happiness throughout 2020. I want to thank you for that. I played through almost all of the Silent Hill games with my friend Mary Kish, over on her channel. I discovered and connected with the incredible Zomebaekillz, who never fails to inspire me. I played through Final Fantasy X with my bestie McSassblast, which was a total blast. Shoutouts to these amazing women and to all of the folks who have hung out in my chat all year!!
I’m thankful to be safe right now, and I’m thankful for some positive things to look back on. However, the mental strain of it all has been a lot. It was hard to feel motivated to work on games. I am sure many of you have had similar feelings and experiences this year. People all over the world have been through this, and worse. Anyone else out there who feels like 2020 has been a major setback in your career or any other life goal. It sucks. A lot. These setbacks and challenges are real, and it’s completely ok and normal to be moving slowly because of them. It’s also ok to feel sad about that--sadness is a valid and important emotion. That sadness won’t last forever, though. We’re all in this together--I’m sending you virtual hugs!! Let’s go running into 2021, because even if it’s hard, we can still move forward! We can regain our strength there. <3
Without further rambling (thank you for listening!!), here were my favorite games this year:
If Found...
If Found… is a game about Kasio. You explore specific moments of her life in Ireland through her diary--a diary that you are erasing. Leaving the past behind leaves room for a queer coming-of-age story to blossom. However, this is not just any coming-of-age story. It’s specific to Kasio--her queer experience, her Irish experience, her relationships to her friends and family, her personal story. I won’t get into specifics of the narrative beyond that, because the first-hand experience of Kasio’s story is too valuable. However, it is not only the story and the wonderful character portraiture that put this game at the top of my list. The mechanic of erasure is something I’ve never seen in another game. If Found… and the core mechanic of erasing to progress the story is brilliant--a mechanic that in and of itself is a part of the story, helping you embody the experience of Kasio. As Kasio’s written memories of these events are erased, she is given room to grow within the space that is granted by their removal. This game is a small spot of hope for the future in an otherwise painful year--it helped me remember the wonderful reality of personal stories that exemplify human resilience and growth.
Umurangi Generation
Umurangi Generation is an intensely expressive game about exploring and photographing the, as the devs put it, shitty future. It is specifically set in Tauranga Aotearoa, and depicts a Māori science-fiction future. The futuristic qualities of this game do not distract from its critique of, and existence within, current-day society. You begin the game photographing your friends (including a very good Penguin) in a private rooftop space--probably built by you and the folks there. Your friends continue to appear in each level, but these levels aren’t all private spaces. Some are security checkpoints full of armed guards. Others are in the middle of battlefields. Umurangi Generation is not a game that cares about making you feel comfortable--it wants you to face an uncomfortable reality. It challenges you to look directly at images you document of oppressors next to the people being oppressed. However, it isn’t a game without hope. The youth of Umurangi Generation are dancing in the streets, covering the walls with their art, living their lives urgently and deliberately. It is also full of specific Māori imagery and references, which adds key cultural context to this vibrant world. The game has a fiery, fighter and survivor spirit that cannot be denied. I mean, you can literally take a picture of the words “KILL FASCISTS” in this game. I can’t think of a more 2020 mood.