We all lived through the same dirty glass backwash that was 2021, so I won’t go through the whole rigmarole of how games were and whatnot. Games were good! Some companies that make games are awful! We learned some important lessons that we’ll never our lesson from.
10. Hot Wheels Unleashed
The weirdest part of this list will be having three racing games from me, a man who does not know how to drive. I don’t mean I’m bad at driving. I mean I don’t have a license to drive. But in Hot Wheels Unleashed you can drive a tiny Ninja Turtles van through an abandoned construction site, sooooo.
9. Loop Hero
A depressing strategy roguelike? Hell yeah!
8. Cruisin’ Blast
This game is always on sale and it feels like a different universe in which companies never stopped making Nintendo 64 games. Just weird as shit, man. But you can unlock a running dinosaur, sooooo.
7. Deathloop
I’m a sucker for everything Deathloop represents: Time loops, strategizing exact paths, ‘60s aesthetic. I wasn’t really a sucker for the incestuous flirting, but, hey, can’t win them all.
6. Resident Evil Village
The shit that happens to this man’s hands in the first hour. Jesus Christ. I thought I’d been all set on horror. Then the hand stuff. God.
5. Forza Horizons 5
I know Forza Horizons 5 isn’t as realistic as, say, Gran Turismo, but I don’t give a shit. This is the closest I’ll come to driving real cars and feel like it. Also, you can unlock a Volkswagen mini-bus, sooooo.
4. It Takes Two
Man, you don’t realize how few friends you have until there’s an amazing game that you need a friend to play. If you’re young reading this, cultivate some friends. You’ll be glad you did.
3. New Pokémon Snap
Sometimes it’s nice to have a game that’s relaxing and nice. Sometimes it’s nice to invade the privacy of Pokemon. Sometimes it’s nice to take little photos of them and show them to a perv professor.
2. Inscryption
Whenever someone talks about Inscryption, they say, like, “I can’t even describe it without spoiling it!” And that’s true, but also, it’s goddamn near possible to explain. This game is cool as hell. I can’t make you buy it, but if I could, I would.
1. Metroid Dread
We got a new Metroid game. It was fantastic. What more could you ask for? Samus running from robots? Oh my God, you’re in luck.