So listen.
It's been a busy couple of weeks for me, and I haven't really had time to think about Destiny 2, much less play it. This week, I played an inordinate amount of Battlefield to complete GameSpot's Battlefield 2042 review. Well, I say complete, but it's a review-in-progress, which means there's more playing to be done. Immediately before that, it was the same story, but for the Call of Duty: Vanguard review. Plus, we're nearing our annual game of the year deliberations, which means it's a sprint to play all the cool things I haven't played yet. (Check out Inscryption, y'all. Then read my thing about what's going on in Inscryption's story.)
I'm making excuses; the reality is, I'm kinda punting on this week's Iron Banter. But I didn't want to blow it off completely (something I quietly did a couple weeks ago), so I'm treating this one as a recharge day. This is mostly for me and Senior Editor Chris Pereira. This is my Bozo Dubbed Over, but for Destiny.
Here's the Destiny 2 experience as depicted in I Think You Should Leave memes.
In the beginning, the Traveler came
Impressed by our many motorcycles, the alien superbeing blessed humanity with the Golden Age.
"Oh yeah guys, there's motorcycles. And there's a lot of other stuff too."Clovis Bray made a lot of stuff during the Golden Age
Still, nobody liked him.
"Steve makes one Christmas joke and you all shit yourselves laughing. But I make hundreds of on-par if not better, and everyone ices me? I'm not popular at all!"Then the Darkness showed up
The Darkness's whole philosophy is basically, "No. More. Scammin'. Adults. Into thinkin' they're stars."
"Moon river rock. Moon river roll!"So the Traveler lets out the Ghosts and the Ghosts create Guardians
Suddenly there's a bunch of dead bodies around. I dunno what to tell you, bud!
"They say we don't have permissions of the families. I said we don't need permissions of the family. We're allowed to show 'em nude because they ain't got no souls."The Exo Stranger brings a message from the future
"I don't even have time to explain why I don't have time to explain."Somebody's gotta fight Skeletrex.
"Scrooge! I am the Ghost of Christmas WAAAAY Future!"And we woke the Hive
Basically, the night that the skeletons came to life.
"The bones are their money. So are the worms."Guardian life is fun, though--there's the Crucible
Lord Shaxx is always looking for the next champ.
"Who's the best little bod who's a carve of beef who's your carved ham up here who's carved up."Master Rahool decrypts engrams and tells you about history
"Guardian! What puzzles do you bear?"He thinks your record collection is very meat-and-potatoes.