I’d put two thumbs up if they weren’t busy dodging jagged platters of death. Disc Room is Nokia’s snake for those who shrug off mortality. Devil Daggers for people who want to set their FOV to 360 degrees. Anyone who has lived for eons in the seven circles of bullet hell might play it happily and shelve it alongside some good ones. It might even become a quiet favourite. For the rest of us, who dip in and out of “hard games” once or twice a year as if it were a swimming pool in English weather, Disc Room is positively boiling, eye-watering in its demand for concentration. If you told me last night I would be hooting with joy at a video game sight as familiar as disembowelment by saw blade, I would have told you to hang up the call and go have a lie down. But here we are.